The Importance of Somatics + NVS System Healing — How to + Why

There used to be a time in my life, where I craved attention so much that I would sacrifice my own well-being, and even my own life, sometimes, to feel the validation that attention brings.

I started noticing that this was a pattern for me, and I realized that it wasn’t something I wanted to continue after my last relationship. I realized how much toxicity I was actually contributing to the relationship and my overall life experience through my beliefs thoughts and actions — not only in regard to myself but also in terms of how i showed up with others and specifically men.

I started realizing that my whole life I have been objectifying myself by trying to chase the validation of the gaze of others.

I realize, now, that I was so miserable because most of the time — I was basing my emotional experience off of what was going on in my physical reality, and because I was in a place where my mental state wasn’t the best — of course, my reality reflected to me those things that were not the best.

The change didn’t start happening until I actively decided to take accountability for my actions, my thoughts and the ways that I was showing up especially when triggered.

I literally learned to be in a relationship with myself.

The relationship that I wanted my entire life is simply waiting for me to embody it. 

In my last relationship, there was a period of time where I started to notice myself pulling away, and nothing was particularly wrong in the relationship — although things could’ve been better, and I could’ve been actively speaking upon what things could’ve been better from the beginning… but again, nothing was actually wrong — it just didn’t feel right.

This made it hard for me to feel like I had the authority to stand up and voice my opinion because nothing was actually wrong, and I learned that this was a pattern my inner child adopted when my parents got divorced because we didn’t address anything until shit really hit the fan and there was no other way out except to run away.

I realized that this pattern was controlling my life in so many ways, not only in romantic relationships, but also in the way that I was showing up in my business, in the way that I was showing up in my relationship with myself and my ability to be consistent in my business, and in my life, and I just realized that I was no longer going to let myself live by those stories. 

In being present enough to realize my own toxicity within this relationship dynamic, my ability to then create the change necessary for me to filter out of that energy dynamic became very very apparent. I started to realize that the foundation that the relationship was built on and all of my previous relationships had been built on were foundations of lack and victim mentality and no matter what I tried to employ within the relationship, no matter what energy I tried to embody, I always ended up back in the victim mentality, because that is the frequency that the relationship was built upon.

Basically, I realized that none of these men were the problem.

I had to finally start seeing the patterns that I was creating for myself in these relationships for myself to learn from the energy dynamics, and take away lessons that help me to propel into whatever endeavor I desire. Facing this version of myself, which is arguably, my most shamed version of self, was one of the hardest things that I had to do because it actually required me sitting with the emotions that caused me to feel the shame, that caused me to create these patterns, as a way of coping with my environment in the first place.

Through this knowledge, I was unable to create strategic plans and formulate logical ideation of how to show up so that I can only feel better, but then also reap the benefits of what I am now sewing. 

And to be honest, I had to get really fucking real with what I thought success was — what I thought was good attention. I had to get really comfortable with calling myself out and telling myself what was good so that I could actually hold myself accountable to creating this change — to being the embodiment of this change.

What that looked like in the day to day was actively showing up in juxtaposition to a past version of self so this looks like different things for different periods of my life, but for example, when I was feeling really really really really high, it actually was very comforting for me to come back to things that made me feel lower to create that balance (going against a version of self + embodying directly juxtaposing energy).

And that’s another thing I learned in my last relationship — if you don’t have the balance, what do you have? Chaos. The balance is the foundation for the relationship and the balance can be balance between any two subjects any to energies it’s up to you to decide the parameters for that, right?

So what are you deciding to balance? Is it to polar opposites, is it two extremes or is it two things that resonate pretty similarly to each other? 

How can you begin to neutralize that gap to create the balance in your embodiment so you aren’t constantly shifting from polar opposite versions of self on consistent basis?

HERE’S THE BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT:

After taking accountability — after realizing my own role in the relationships that I was getting myself into — it was easier for me to then go and take myself out of the victim mentality look at it from an objective standpoint, and see the interactions in the happenings as an objective happening in my reality, something not to get attached to, but something to learn from and grow from and in that way you can maintain your well-being no matter what situation or circumstance is coming up for you in your reality.

When you’re objective, you’re also not as easily influenced so you’re less likely to actually engage in those behaviors that will bring on the self sabotage, that will cause chaos, that will do whatever it is that you’re not desiring.

At the same time, you can create the validation within yourself by affirming to yourself through your thoughts and beliefs what you desire to be feeling — what you desire to be living — and then inviting that through the way that you show up. If you show up in an energy — if you if you are feeling down and out and then you show up in that energy — what you’re gonna find is that you attract more of that down and out energy which is cool — like sometimes that can be really valuable, right? But when we’re wanting to be deliberate about what we’re attracting the easiest way to do that is my shift into the frequency that feels good and take action from a place that feels good, and do things that have little to no resistance or working with our mindsets to create an area or a space of little to no resistance so that we can feel safe enough to filter through to create those new mental foundations and formulas and step up and show up in new ways. 

It makes sense that when you shift, your reality shifts too.

Because every. single. time. that I was in a relationship that wasn’t serving me — why did I get into that relationship in the first place? I’ll tell you: because I was lonely, because I felt like someone else had some thing I didn’t, because I felt like I was missing out, because I felt like the relationship was going to be the piece to the puzzle that completed me. The accountability that comes with taking ownership for every. single. relationship. that you have ever had and the foundational aspects of those relationships is going to be what is going to allow you to discern through your past experience of what you do not want to experience again, and then consciously shift using the momentum of that past experience to fuel that future moment where you receive that what you desire. 

Working with the structures of your mind, working with your mental narratives and beginning to understand yourself as a third-party, can be very influential and cataclysmically beneficial in leveling up because it allows you to then regulate your nervous system, which is really just your energy body, to the frequency, which is really just the thoughts, beliefs, actions, and embodiment of that which you desire — so you’re not actually doing crazy things in the physical. You don’t have to go here and do this and invest this much. No, it’s not about that — I mean sometimes, yes, like for specific people that is going to be your path, but nine times out of ten: what you’re actually looking to do is just expand the capacity of your nervous system which is just to feel deeper into yourself to get to know yourself more, and to better understand your own habits and ideologies.

When you take the time to regulate your nervous system in this way, when you take the time to show up for energetics body in this way, you are allowing yourself — the unconditional presence and love that you are — to mirror that feeling that external validation gives you a subtle glimpse of. Except now, you get to experience the whole thing in full force because you’re creating it from within, because you’re remaining sovereign in your own energy signature and you’re able to cultivate that energy signature and build that momentum and consciously pivot and push it in the direction of your desires. That is what nervous system regulation is, that is what NLP work does, that is what somatic healing, somatic processing and somatic expression is. It is to anchor in these new ways of being into our physical apparatus — into the technology that is the physical body.

Water is the consciousness the body is the vehicle. 

Taking care of and attuning your vehicle is important — your vehicle needs regular check ups. Your vehicle needs to be switched up from time to time. Sometimes you gotta go in and you got to trade your vehicle in, OK? Don’t be afraid to let go and don’t be afraid to check up on yourself to ask yourself how you’re doing to see where you’re at on certain subjects, especially the touchy ones. Learning to go into the darkness willingly is what’s gonna prevent you from being thrown into the darkness later. If you want to live a life where you are seemingly in control, the key is to follow the impulses and see where they lead you. The more that you can be objective about your perception of the impulses, the faster you’re gonna take action and the more aligned energetically the action is likely to be.

Who knows! Maybe the you two years from now gets to show up as the version of you who puts a past version of you to bed. Maybe you really do get to shed your skin.

Maybe the skin that you were living in was never really yours to begin with.

Maybe it’s about coming back into you. 

Inside of our to infinity and beyond portal, I’m guiding you through strategic outlines that will help set you up for success, help program your subconscious mind to the abundance frequency, and overall shift your mental narrative and stories surrounding any touchy subjects in your life. This is an amazing resource and it’s growing constantly. We also have a monthly master class episode that is uploaded into the portal. You can get access to that master class for $77. Just send me a message on Instagram or you can purchase it all the cart on the website.

For those who are looking for something, a bit more in-depth, and for those who are looking to expand in their specific realm — for those who are looking to reap the benefits of long-term mentorship and coaching, I recommend checking out our one on one application and feeling around to see if that sounds like it’s something that aligns with you. 1:1 is a great option for the individual who is looking for every day mental support, as well as emotional support, strategy, support and belief, support, networking support, and overall self-concept support, either in life or in business. In one on one with me, I go super deep, I get super intimate with you and I share real life stories, real life happenings. I pull from my life experience, I pull from what I know to be true, I pull from my ancestors, I pull from my guides I pull from your energetics signature, and I give you a multifaceted perspective that allows you to peek into how your source truly feels about you which not only amplifies your confidence, but also gives you an extra form of support, even as you exit the space that we share together. 

The work that we do inside one on one is compounded for your entire life. So the investment that you make now could be the investment that makes you $1 million. It could be the investment that solidifies the foundation that signs you a one on one client for over a year. The beliefs work and the strategies that will guide you in rewiring your brain, are going to be what you carry with you in your tool-belt throughout your every day life so that you can show up and continuously keep evolving, awake.  

Because, we all fall asleep sometimes and sometimes we do need that reminder, sometimes we do need that support factor.

Sometimes we do need that external validation and that is OK — that is completely OK.

But you also deserve to have that well bank of knowledge within you to tap into whenever you are feeling any type of way so that you can get to the root of the issues in your reality and come out on top with solutions right away. 

When you’re ready to explore, you can check out the links below. Thanks for reading, mahalo. 👋🏼